we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Randomize
