I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
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