I just saw a hot homeless man
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
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