My pussy is not your playground.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Randomize
