I think im going to throw up on grandma
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Randomize