I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Randomize
