I'm lost and stupid without you.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
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