i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
