I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
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