i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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