We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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