her vagina looked like bernie madoff
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
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