Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Randomize
