They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
