We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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