Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
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