if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Randomize
