just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
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