All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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