Where did you get a picture of my penis
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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