If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Come see our sink grown plant.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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