He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
