So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
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