If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
