I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
