I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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