I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
