Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Randomize
