you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Randomize
