p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
