in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
