I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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