I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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