fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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