I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize