hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Randomize
