If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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