I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
