You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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