i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
