I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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