it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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