I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
