can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Randomize
