So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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