That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Randomize
