I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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