..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Randomize
