alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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