Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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