forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
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