well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
That was an excessively violent trivia night
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize