Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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