p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Randomize
