He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
