I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
