I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
i just had sex bonerless
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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