Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I could have mohawked her pubes.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
