we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Randomize
