You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
