Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Randomize
