he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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